Everything seems to be just rather "off" lately.
It looks like I am going to transfer to the Celebration Campus of Florida Hospital...
Where maybe I can become super nurse....Ha.
Its a different shift, 9a-7p 4 days a week. I emailed the director yesterday, he responded within an hour and offerred me two different shifts. the 10 hour one is very bizarre, but, after thinking about it, I realized this type of shift would actually help me with my running goals etc. As I'd be able to do a workout every single day if I wanted to...
I'm really nervous about any kind of job change. If I hate it, it's unlikely that I would just be able to transfer back. I think though it might be a place where I could advance a little in my career. but there are all those doubts, about if it is going to be a horrific move, if people will like me, if I will remain friends with the friends I made at the other hospital...
if I will make new friends....If I can advance a little in the job, or not, if I would be able to move to a 7-7 shift after some time if the 9-7 was not good.....etc etc etc....
On top of that:
Running lately has been terrible. My legs are hurting, the more time I take off, the faster the legs heal, but my base also gets destroyed each time I take a day off....
This is probably what has precipitated my completely foul mood.
Unfortunately it really crept up on me. So now I am in a bit of a pit of despair. I am having a lot of trouble running, and thus I have no interest in any type of gym work. Thus making it even more difficult when my leg starts to feel better...because my base is decimated. I feel so anxious about this its hard to describe. I have that Marathon coming up and I simply don't want to run it, but having friends coming in makes it very very difficult. Even today I am missing a super fun race sponsered by my hospital because my leg is in too much pain and I can't really run.
My main interest right now is sleeping and doing mindless activities like playing Bejewled Blitz on facebook. While both are excellent activities, they really aren't the end all be all. And the fact is that I know that if one continues to allow themselves to wallow, then most likely nothing is going to change, so it becomes a forcing to get out and do stuff that I used to like to do. Truth is I probably still like to do them, but it's just the apathy and frustration that is getting in the way.
I'm going to try to super schedule everything for the next week, forcing myself to get out to the gym, the pool, continue to set up the aquarium, meal planning, etc. And hopefully that will help me a lot....
Ugh.
And can someone explain why these animals are living in my neighbourhood????
- Mac 'n cheese & diet dr. pepper: breakfast of champion (me). I do have broccoli in the mac, plus an apple & a pomegranate. So delicious. #
- I want to read: Larry's Kidney by Daniel Asa Rose - bit.ly/3Lm5TE #
- I want to read: The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi - bit.ly/3BXSzo #
- I want to read: The City & The City by China Miéville - bit.ly/3LaZno #
- I want to read: Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen - bit.ly/3GB5dx #
- I want to read: Where Men Win Glory by Jon Krakauer - bit.ly/16jRhY #
- for @sethew: bit.ly/2mniBt #
- I have big plans for catching up on NaNo, biking & doing some important things, but I suspect these plans will be dashed by a nap. #
- Resisting the consumerist urge. Going to go home and be productive instead. WHAT A GROWNUP. #
- 7695. But not done for the day, still -2445. Break time--no more screen face. I need to save up my screen time for Bioshock! #nanowrimo #
- Dear Bioshock, I am so excited to press " install". #
- I know I'm a noob but wow, is it hard to make games work on a PC. #
loudtwitter.com set all this up for me.
- I vote against opening the blinds for Ashton! Mostly because you can't vote against the sun, because it doesn't care either way. #
loudtwitter.com set all this up for me.
First thing: If you ever thought to yourself, "Gosh, I have no idea what actually happened with Enron," maybe you should consider seeing a documentary called Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. I wasn't particularly interested, because it sounds boring and I didn't know a thing about Enron. I still don't understand what energy trading is, but otherwise I feel pretty solid on the sleazy awfulness that is corporate America, specifically Jeff Skilling and the hundreds of other jerks behind the Enron collapse. There's also a scene with Phillip Glass music and a strip club. It's on Instant Watch if you've got Netflix, and it's better than the trailer:
Second thing: I saw They Might Be Giants live for the first time this week and it was fucking awesome. Confetti cannons. I think it was so awesome that it was partially responsible for my plunge into total self-pity yesterday, when I felt bad about not being as great as they are, and why don't I write songs instead of novels, and then travel the world singing them to people who are really happy to hear them? And why is everything I do boring and provincial, instead of being about the cow under the sea? The same thing happens to me when I read Neal Stephenson novels. It's terrible.
Third thing: I am addicted to cleaning. I have strong urges to go through my possessions and get rid of juuuuust...a....littttttle....bitttt....more. It would be great but this is the month to do other things than clean. But my brain just doesn't want to think about other stuff. It wants to get rid of old shoes and shirts and things.
Which is totally weird, not helpful, and probably related to the....
Fourth thing: NaNoWriMo is horrible. Books are horrible. Writing is horrible. Narrative is my mortal enemy.
Fifth thing: It's sunny out. I am happy. My bike is good.
Sixth thing: We all look at the equivalent of War & Peace every single day. The internet is evil. I like simple sentences.
Fourth thing: NaNoWriMo is horrible. Books are horrible. Writing is horrible. Narrative is my mortal enemy.
Fifth thing: It's sunny out. I am happy. My bike is good.
Sixth thing: We all look at the equivalent of War & Peace every single day. The internet is evil. I like simple sentences.
- 3920. #nanowrimo #rackedwithdespair #whywouldanyoneeverwrite #ihatemycharactersanditsonlydayfour #ishouldgointopoetry #
- 5253. I have recovered somewhat from my temper tantrum/fit of unending despair earlier. God, cloudy days are hard. #nanowrimo #
- Oh, there is going to be abundant sunshine today! Hooray! #
loudtwitter.com set all this up for me.
While I have been enjoying my job, for the most part, I've been exhausted by the commute and some of the problems that are inherent in the medical field...
We seem to be awash not only in new nurses, but relatively new nurses, who are far more dangerous than the brand new ones. They are the ones who know enough to do on their own, but not enough to recognize the more subtle signs of problems and act on them. Some days get really tiring, because I feel like I'm constantly answering questions, helping the newbies, handling my own load and keeping an eye out for problems that they might miss. In addition, I've done a great deal more damage control than I would like. With the long drive, and these annoyances, I have been thinking about a new job. My Manager is also annoying me a lot...as the staff seems to be having a great deal of behavioral issues that no one is really dealing with....The biggest issue I have is with a weekend charge nurse who is not very competent but continues to remain in charge...
Unfortunately, the grass is not greener anywhere else. But with brown grass, I know that at least driving shorter to the brown grass it will be better...
I have 2 opportunities for jobs.
One is at the Celebrations Disney Campus of Florida Hospital. This is a sure shot. They have offerred me the day shift, and the manager offerred it without me asking. It's just a transfer so I wouldn't even have to mess about with moving my 403B, changing insurance, etc. It's a bit of a smaller Emergency Department, with a very different clientele. So my pay would stay the same etc.
Downside is that this campus has a bad reputation. 2 nurses have transferred from there. One was very unhappy, the other, seems to have just wanted to not drive so far.
Second Opportunity is 2 miles from my house. Not affiliated with Florida Hospital. I have a vague interview tomorro.
Very small Emergency department, most stuff gets flown out. I get a huge gym discount if I work there, and it's so close that doing little bits and pieces of overtime would be no issue. I don't know about pay or insurance. there is a chance that both could be better....
Decreasing my commute time would help a lot too with more daily exercise.
I really like where I work, but I am so so sick of getting up at 4 am, and trying to play the political game. who knows what's going to happen though.
It's really hard for me to decide what to do.....I really want to stay in the same place, just so I don't have to figure out how to negotiate everything new....but I also see that this could be the best thing ever.....
- Submitted the shark story a 3rd time instead of NaNo'ing. Maybe after TMBG show? It seemed like a better use of my time. Now, a disco nap. #
- Holy crap, They Might Be Giants are awesome. I want to be them. That's probably a little too creepy, but hey, I'm on the internet. #
loudtwitter.com set all this up for me.
Oracle Enterprise Linux (and Oracle VM) is freely RE-distributable !
http://wiki.oracle.com/page/Unbreakable+Linux
Yes, it's free download but also free to re-distribute including copyrights and trademarks, see the EULA for more details.
And theres now a public yum server for OEL that offers a free and convenient way to install packages from the Enterprise Linux and Oracle VM installation media via a yum client.
- I want to read: The Bizarro Starter Kit by Carlton Mellick III - bit.ly/1ccrS4 #
- I want to read: The Bizarro Starter Kit by Steve Aylett - bit.ly/3gx5kQ #
- 3452 words tonight. #nanowrimo #fiction #writing #timeforbed #
loudtwitter.com set all this up for me.
Links from my Neighborhood
YouOS is an experiment in a new kind of computing platfor...
